King In The Freezer

King Salmon Coronation—I’d duel a bear for you

Roses are red, but frankly who cares—

Your scales shimmer brighter than billionaire heirs.

The ocean once filed for a patent on blue,

But blushed into coral when it gazed upon you.

Poseidon once wept in briny despair,

Neptune unclutched at his sea-salted hair.

For none of their kingdoms, had water so fresh

To produce such a fillet of miracle flesh.

When tides rise high, I’ll build you a throne

From driftwood, sea glass, and beluga bone.

When tides sink low, I’ll sing you ballads

While accompanying you with sourdock salads.

Chowders will chant your wild silvery name.

Bisques will whisper, “Farmed tis not the same.”

The shrimp form choirs. The scallops applaud.

Even the haddock nods solemnly, awed.

You belong in a pasta, like Renaissance art.

With cream cheese on a bagel, a cultural start.

But kissed by smoke in an alder embrace?

Michelangelo would weep from one little taste.

I’d cross seven seas with a fork held high,

Defy maritime law, ignore FDA cries.

I’d duel a bear in a riverside brawl

Yes, I’d duel a bear in a riverside brawl…

If he so much as looked at you wrong in the fall.

Too fat? Impossible. Blasphemy. Lies.

More king to adore is simply more prize.

More ounces of glory, more sovereign might,

More majestic marbling catching the light.

Let lesser fish swim in mediocrity’s stream—

You are the sashimi of destiny’s dream.

You are the sear in my cast-iron pan,

The omega-3 of my five-year plan.

So reign, my king, in freezer or flame,

In vacuum-sealed glory or plated acclaim.

So doubt not thy worth, O monarch divine—

For I shall consume thee. Reverently. You're mine.